The Rules isn’t just a book its a lifestyle. The Rules aren’t simply a list of things to do when interacting with men, they are a way of life. Once you really learn them and start to apply them your perspective and the way you do things will change. And quite frankly, most BW could stand to learn and apply them. Here’s why.
Face it. Many BW are clueless about online dating and vetting men for relationships and marriage. Many BW also have not had the opportunity to witness healthy, functional relationships. But NONE of this is your individual fault or failure! The people who should have had these conversations with you didn't or, were unavailable to do so. They may not have even thought it necessary to do so either. We may have heard the message "Don't have sex!" but nothing about how to navigate relationships with boys and men. We may have also been told to "Keep our heads in our books!" but nothing about how to mix, mingle, and socialize. None of us had control over the guidance (or lack there of) the adults in our lives gave us as children. What you can do now is recognize where you may be weak and find a way to be savvier and stronger and The Rules can help you do this.
Also keep in mind that this is not limited to BW- if it were the dating and relationship self help industry wouldn't exist.
Follow The Rules and you won’t go wrong. A lot of people like to say that The Rules are about playing games with men. They’re not. They are about setting boundaries and having standards. The Rules gives you the tools to evaluate and vet men for relationships and eventually marriage- if that is what you desire. No more second guessing yourself or him, with The Rules you will know where you stand.
Also speaking from observation and experience, Rules Girls attract the best men! Quality men like women who are a challenge and are not easily available. They like women who have healthy boundaries, self esteem, and standards because they typically do too! This means he will be willing to bring his A-game to the table in courting you. Losers and laggards don't want to have to work- for anything!
The Rules have helped me to spot time wasters, email pen-pals, texters, players, cheapskates, lazy and selfish men, scam artists, boundary violators, MARRIED and otherwise unavailable men EARLY. There are certain behaviors that will signal the aforementioned red flags. You can completely avoid being caught up in an unhealthy, undesirable, or down right dangerous situation completely. Weed out the duds so you can stop wasting your precious time.
You may not have as many men in your life as you did before The Rules or that non-Rules Girls have but, you won’t have to deal with the drama and insecurities that come with non-committal and indifferent men. For some single men the status quo works very well for them. DBRs don’t want more women doing The Rules because that means they’d have to change they way they behave. They’d like for you to continue to believe that The Rules are only for white or other groups of women.
Less drama = less bitterness = a more positive attitude = more approachable to healthy men.
All that said, I am glad to see more BW being curious and asking questions about The Rules. I’m also glad to see more BW embracing them. I hope you will consider giving them a chance too.